Sake and women don't always have to go together
by Kirabera
Summary: Gin-san stops by Yoshiwara for a drink. Tsukuyo tries to get him to spend more time with him, but he refuses. Gintoki remembers a young girl in his youth. What goes on in his mind? A headcanon of (maybe) Gintoki's first love in his younger days and how he feels about women now. One-shot. Slight GinxTsu.


"Welcome, Gin-san! Please, drink and relax to your heart's content tonight!"

Hinowa welcomed me into a private guest room. The table was filled with food and quality sake.

"Aw, you didn't have to! But since you went through all the trouble of inviting me here, of course I'd have to accept your offer!" I laughed and made myself comfortable.

Recently, there had been some unruly customers from some Joui gang going around causing trouble at the shops in Yoshiwara. Hinowa requested my help, so I put those damn Joui punks in their place. I guess it's well worth the work, since she's treating me to such good food and sake!

"You don't need to thank me! All I did was show some punks that Yoshiwara is no place for kids like them. This is a place for old men like me to drink to my heart's content!" I said.

Hinowa poured me a drink and smiled.

"I'll be counting on it, Gin-san! You're not leaving here sober tonight!" said Hinowa. "As special service, I even brought in a special courtesan for you!"

The door slid open. A face I knew all too well appeared.

"Oi, Hinowa, why'd you bring me Courtesan Death? That's not funny!" I snapped. I sat annoyed as Tsukuyo came in and settled down at the table. Hinowa laughed.

"D-don't misunderstand, Gintoki! I'm only here because you helped out some of my close friends and only because Hinowa has to spend some quality time with Seita and can't stay to drink with you. So, in her place, I will spend some quality time with you instead. Isn't that great, Gintoki?" Tsukuyo blabbered.

"Quality time? What quality time? You're just going to get drunk and beat my ass!" I yelled.

"Don't worry, Gin-san. Tsukki won't be drinking tonight. I made her promise to behave herself. Well, now that she's here, I can go play Uno with Seita! You guys have fun!" said Hinowa.

With that, Hinowa left me in the hands of Courtesan Death, Tsukuyo. I scratched my head and poured myself a drink, offering to pour Tsukuyo one as well. She shook her head.

"I'm here to serve you sake tonight, but I won't be drinking." Said Tsukuyo.

I shrugged and downed my cup.

"Up to you. Well, at least relax and eat some food. Everyone knows you work too hard. This is a good time to take a well-deserved night off." I said.

I expected Tsukuyo to retort in some way, but she simply nodded and helped herself to the food. Good. As I thought, Hinowa wasn't just thanking me with free food and sake. She was using me to give Tsukuyo a chance to relax, and it seems this time Tsukuyo is finally doing it. Not only that, knowing she's such a lightweight and a destructive alcoholic, Hinowa's even managed to get Tsukuyo not to drink for tonight. This will be a good chance to relax a bit.

Just like that, we ate together and Tsukuyo served me drinks. We talked about a lot of things. She told me of Seita's school stories and also of the fun happenings between Hinowa and Seita, and I told her about some of my recent happenings with Shinpachi and Kagura. It was a relaxing evening, just two friends drinking away (well, just me, I guess) and chatting.

As the night went on, eventually I got quite drunk. I couldn't drink any more. I figured I'd be a handful if I stayed until morning, so I suggested we call it a night, and I offered to go home.

"Gintoki… Do you not want to stay?" asked Tsukuyo.

"No, no, I'm good. I drank a ton and I've had my fill for tonight. I should go before it gets too late." I replied.

"Gintoki, would you not stay the night with me?" asked Tsukuyo again, this time with a hint of softness in her voice.

I paused and sighed. So it's come to this again.

"You know, Tsukki," I sighed. "I recall the last time you asked if I thought of you as a beautiful woman. I do. Your scars, your past, nothing can change the fact that you're a beautiful woman. But you don't need to hear that from me, do you? You just gotta keep shining bright like the beautiful moon that you are."

Tsukuyo looked at me with uncertain eyes. I opened my mouth to speak again before she could say anything.

"I know I must look like I'm rejecting you, although I'm not sure why you're even asking me to begin with. But listen, even if I am rejecting you, it's not a problem with regards to you. I like to have a hot babe like you pour me sake and sit beside me, but that's as far as it goes for me. I'm just a man who likes good sake and sweet eyecandy. Gin-san is not a pervert, you know?"

Her uncertainty seemed to fade. I smiled at her.

"You've done plenty tonight. To spend the evening serving me sake and not even drink any yourself! I've enjoyed myself well. Now that you've gotten to relax for a night, you should go get some rest. It's back to patrolling Yoshiwara in the morning for you, right? So go and get some good sleep." I said.

"Gintoki…" Tsukuyo paused. "Yes, you have reason. As you said, you've enjoyed yourself, so that means I've done my job well for tonight. I will show you out, Gintoki. Don't pass out after throwing up on the streets, yes?"

Tsukuyo gave me a warm smile. She was back to her usual self. She walked me to the door and sent me on my way. I made my way home underneath the bright moonlight.

* * *

It wasn't that I had no interest in women. I found many women to be more than just fine. Ketsuno Ana is the prettiest and the cutest. And of course, Tsukuyo was one hell of a hot babe. But even then, I still couldn't find any real interest in anyone more than just finding them pretty or appreciating them as friends.

When I was younger, I would often visit brothels with my old companions. Heck, I had even gotten into stupid fights with that Takasugi over a wench or two. Well, when you're young, you're a lot more enthusiastic about the physical pleasures of an attractive woman, I guess.

It was always the same. Get drunk, get naked, fool around. Sure, it was fun. I was in my late teens. That's the best time to fool around! The older guys always said that the best way to reenergise a body exhausted from battles was with sake and women. Certainly, it felt good. The girls would help me strip once I got drunk. They'd run their delicate fingers over my muscular body. I would embrace and caress their soft, smooth skin in return. We'd never exchange any words, only quiet moans and quick gasps. It felt especially good after a long battle, to be in the arms of a woman and the comfort of a bed.

One time, though, it was different. That time, I drank with younger prostitute, who had only recently graduated from being an apprentice. I must have been one of her first few customers.

She paced me with the sake and didn't let me get too drunk. When I finally got drunk enough to do more, she took care in undressing me, as if she were afraid that my old injuries were still painful. Her smile was the charming, enticing smile of a prostitute, but her eyes had a kind of caring warmth to them. She gently traced her fingertips on a number of scars all over my body. My shoulders, my arms, my back… She brought her lips to a particularly noticeable scar on my chest and kissed it lightly.

"Your battles must be difficult, sir. You have many old scars, but amongst them are also many newer ones where the skin is softer. I only hope the number of scars on your body does not increase."

I stopped dead in my tracks and didn't know what to do. That was the first time any girl had said anything like that to me. Faced with this young wench, I suddenly forgot how to touch a woman. That night, instead of pleasuring myself like I've done with every other prostitute, I lay quietly in the bed while she soothed my scarred chest with one hand and played softly with my silver curls with the other.

The war ended not long after that. I only ever got to drink again with the same girl once or twice. The other times, I'd request the cute babes like I usually did, but I didn't sleep with them anymore. I'd drink and drink, and I'd get wasted and pass out before the girls could strip me. After the war ended, I stopped visiting brothels altogether, and would just go to a rowdy bar for a good drink. Nowadays, I just drunk at Otose's bar or Club Smile or a few other shops I frequent. All I really want is a good drink.

It just didn't feel right. I was a man who had known nothing but war my whole life. My hands have caused more death than I could care to count. The only thing I knew how to hold properly was a sword, not a woman.

It's the same even now. Ten years have passed, but I've not changed much from those days, if at all. The only thing I know how to do even now is just to hold a sword and fight. I've no hands with which to hold a beautiful woman.

Maybe one day these hands may finally be able to hold something. At the moment, the only thing I want to be able to hold onto properly is my Yorozuya family. But I hope that one day in the future I'll be able to hold a woman, too.

Well, when that time comes, maybe I'll give Tsukuyo a go. That is, assuming she hasn't grown into an old hag by then. Knowing her, she'll probably be around for a long time. If I'm lucky, maybe she'll wait.

Just kidding. Or maybe I'm not kidding. Who knows.


End file.
